Momentum

It has been a while, I know.   I haven't really had much energy to write, as there just always seems to be a hard stop to life momentum.  You know what I mean, life finally gets going, going in the correct direction.  Then in one foul swoop, you are back to square one.  That's how I feel these days.  And a similar cycle over and over again.  It's almost like we will never get ahead.   Now, don't get me wrong, I know I am blessed.  It's just sometimes the over controlling obstacles really get me down.  I am now in a brand new momentum cycle.  I guess I am lucky that I really have nothing to lose and have multiple chances to start over again.  Some day soon, though, I really wish I could break through it!!

I will write more soon, as soon as I have a clear mind,I just don't want to come across a certain way, when really, I am just exhausted.  Write again soon, xoxoxo  -k

Engage

Thank you Maya Angelou for providing a beautiful quote that sums up how I feel this year for the One Word campaign. I don't think I could summarize my feelings any more perfectly:

"Love life, engage in it, give it all you've got, love it with a passion, because life truly does give back, many times over, what you put in to it." --Maya Angelou

One Word 2012

Again this year, I am doing One Word: http://oneword365.com/. If you haven't done it, its not too late to try. It is the only "resolution" of sorts I can keep every day of the year. I really thought hard and prayed about what my word should be and as I thought of 2011, one word really stuck out....Engage.

I spent a lot of 2011 being a loner of sorts, trying to sort out my life and get it figured out and organized, just going from day to day like a zombie, just getting by. I had a lot of great intentions too. I also realized I have a lot of people in my life of whom are so important, I cannot express how much they mean to me. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't do even the small tasks on my "to do" list such as sending a card I couldn't accomplish. I just couldn't be a good supporter no matter what I did. Queue in the word Engage. I want to Engage with the people that are important to me, Engage in a better community as a whole and Engage myself in my faith. I also want to engage the compassion that sits deep inside me and engage my spiritual gifts to be able to offer the world what I have. I can be the person and Christian that I am deep down, I just need to engage in those feelings so I can implement these things in my every day life.

Let's go 2012. Nothing's going to stop me now.

Wrapping up 2011..

One evening in December of 2010, I was blog surfing like a mad women looking for nothing in particular. I found this blog: http://www.gritandglory.com/one-word-2011, and it was exactly what I was (or wasn't) I was looking for. A new resolution of sorts, a fresh start for the new year and a new way to think. After reading the post, I was hooked and knew I was going to to it for the new year. 2011 was going to be great. 2010 was less than desirable, with many many unexpected events and a lot of trials. It was frustrating and I couldn't be happier to leave the year behind. Then 2011 came. Hope was my word. HOPE. I prayed and thought about that word every day, all year. Honestly, some days it was only thing that got me through the day. As the year went by, it became harder than I ever thought 2o10 was. And that one word got me through it. I had hope. I still have hope. But, I have a different perspective of hope. Initially, I thought if I just had hope in my heart, about the issues that I carried, that they could eventually have a good end. Instead, all the answers to my problems turned the complete opposite way, a way I even struggle with. I couldn't figure out why I got nothing I was hoping for. Then I realized that hope was there all along, amidst all the tradegies of the year, with me, my family and everyone around me. Somewhere along the line, I realized that the root of hope was different than what it seems on the outside. I realized how important family is, what a great support system we are for eachother and that the real stuff that matters are the events of your life, not the physical stuff you own.

I am a different person with a different perspective now. Hope is there, hope is all around. Thanking God for the beautiful world and a new day of living gives me hope that whatever comes my way, I can handle it and hopefully be able to offer a little hope to others along the way.